The Beginning...

My journey...as I type those words it still seems that it isn't real and i'm just kidding myself to think i'll soon be starting a whole new chapter in my life. My whole life had been about one thing...weight. I have always been "bigger", my whole life has been surrounded and consumed with food. I have a wonderful family and have always had a great life so I can't blame my weight on that. I know food is my addiction, I mean come on when it's good you wanna eat it and eat it ALL! When I was little it didn't affect me much as I was always with other kids who liked me for me and didn't really care about what I looked like. Growing up and getting into boys is really where I started to know that I wasn't just like everyone else. Like most of the time all the boys wanted to date and be around the "skinny" girls. No big deal..I just had lots of friends and didn't really mind that. When I did finally date I was lucky to have dated guys who liked me for me, so I finally found that sometimes some people really do see who's on the inside. So, here I am today 27 years old married to a wonderful man and have 2 amazing kids who are my WORLD! Here's the other side: 273 pounds (as of this morning), back pain, hip pain, breathless and just plain tired. I now weigh more than I ever have in my life, I weighed less when I was pregnant (how sad is that:-( People tell me you don't look that big, well just because I don't look like it doesn't me I don't feel like it. Being overweight is more than just a struggle it's a physical, mental, and emotional melt down and sometimes all of the above happen at one time. As I embark on this new journey I have hope for once in my life, hope that I finally have a tool that will help me with my addiction and my mental yearning for food. I have 1 more day to go until I will be starting the new side of my life..the losing side. I am excited, nervous, happy and sad...i'm loosing more than my stomach, i'm losing a me that i've had for 27 years! I know the struggles will be great and that is the reason I started this blog so I can share those and maybe help someone else in the process. When I see everyone eat a whole big plate of food and get to enjoy all of that deliciousness, will I go crazy? YES! I know I will and I will regret doing the sleeve but I know after the initial shock and anger goes away I will be so thankful. I will rejoice that I can walk in and find pants and shirts that fit. I will jump (literally) for joy when I wake up and my back and hip aren't killing me. I will run and run with my kids and get to see smiles on those little faces knowing that momma can play with them all day long and not be tired and out of breath. I will be happy, healthy and loving the losing side of life! I will be posting at least once daily and posting pictures...I will try to do some videos too. I hope all of you take something away from this..I know I will! Let's start losing (for once it's not a bad thing;-)